I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
