she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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