Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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