Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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