Where is the hickey?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Come share oat with me in your robe
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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