I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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