I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
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the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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