Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
