Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
