we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
