Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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