fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
