Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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