How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Man, jail baloney is awful.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
