alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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