Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.