You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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