why didn't you poke me back
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible