i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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