Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?