i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".