So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
