It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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