I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to fling myself into the sun
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
