Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
