Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize