To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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