It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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