How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
