They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
