Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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