oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Randomize
