The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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