Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
