honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize