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Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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