you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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