I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
