Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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