He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
