Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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