I wish I could punch you in the face.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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