white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
