At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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