i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
