with your own penis?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
