He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
