I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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