just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
