i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
