You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn