I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.