And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.