Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  We've been saying that since '98

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  (917): I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out (1-917): We've been saying that since '98 http://tfl.nu/9f56
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (558)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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  (434): I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents. http://tfl.nu/eibu
  Replies (18) Good night (860) Bad night (6001)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (2059) Bad night (1230)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (8280) Bad night (2468)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2217) Bad night (3951)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (2062) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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  (970): Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did. http://tfl.nu/3qcv
  Replies (7) Good night (8094) Bad night (2277)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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  (812): They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal http://tfl.nu/sgdn
  Replies (4) Good night (2096) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor

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  (504): I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor http://tfl.nu/q7h4
  Replies (12) Good night (840) Bad night (1099)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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  (617): I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night" http://tfl.nu/srds
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (813)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?

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  (414): I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/a756
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours

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  (508): Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours http://tfl.nu/2ezn
  Replies (6) Good night (1179) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.

  (561): View more from Florida

  Your mother would be so proud

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  (843): I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom. (561): Your mother would be so proud http://tfl.nu/t9pg
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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  (407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4
  Replies (10) Good night (428) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No piss test, hell yeah

  (248): View more from Michigan

  FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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  (248): No piss test, hell yeah (248): FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS. http://tfl.nu/hck1
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (901)

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