i may or may not be watching the land before time
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.