Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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  (646): he just put it in my mouth and said "go" http://tfl.nu/nvzb
  Replies (64) Good night (2685) Bad night (5359)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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  (917): fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker http://tfl.nu/ivhi
  Replies (22) Good night (1279) Bad night (3572)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.

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  (512): I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me. http://tfl.nu/h7ic
  Replies (22) Good night (4191) Bad night (1301)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic

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  (706): Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic http://tfl.nu/himg
  Replies (20) Good night (5101) Bad night (1129)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (7029) Bad night (884)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.

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  (573): I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze. http://tfl.nu/2uw1
  Replies (17) Good night (3611) Bad night (1078)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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  (450): I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life http://tfl.nu/01gr
  Replies (7) Good night (4247) Bad night (1221)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling

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  (207): I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling http://tfl.nu/w1qs
  Replies (15) Good night (3244) Bad night (791)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (677)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb

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  (309): Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb http://tfl.nu/q450
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (394)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

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  (303): I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive? http://tfl.nu/iyw4
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (364)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.

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  (405): Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month. http://tfl.nu/0lcc
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (458)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating

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  (785): This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating http://tfl.nu/xcs8
  Replies (11) Good night (468) Bad night (784)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.

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  (+44): Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms. http://tfl.nu/2jzl
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (311)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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  (605): it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps http://tfl.nu/vib3
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (424)

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