So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.