My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
