Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
