What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
