Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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