Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
