Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize