Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize