watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
